I have read an article about how most men think when it comes to sex and uncommitted relationships. Every word, every line, every thought hit me hard right through every vital body part I have. I cried out loud to my heart's content after reading that article. (Good thing I read it in my room.)
I remembered a man who seems to be like he's "into me" at first, but soon after I get intimate with him, he "cools off" and starts acting distant. No more dates. No more visits. No more text messages. No more calls.
Well, I'm here left alone. In the dark. Don't know where to go. Feeling helpless. Feeling worthless. Frustrated. Having difficulty to figure out how to move on. Even the idea of committing suicide had come across my mind for a few times. I guess my friends and my family helped me a lot to get through those crucial times.
Reality shook hard all of my senses when I saw that the man I shared myself with didn't share the same dreams and feelings I have. And then, I realized I can't entirely blame him for this dreadful situation I am in. I must admit, I contributed to my own misery. What's more painful, and it is awfully and shamefully true, because I became physical with a man and he ended up having no interest in sharing his life with me.
Well, most MEN are entirely different kind of specie and they have this unusual, out-of-this-world type of brain. They said only a special kind of force will lead me in order to fully understand a man. And usually that man is THE ONE meant for me. When will it happen? Only God knows.
Someone wrote that maybe I am so wrapped up in his perspective, what he's doing, his feelings, his emotions and his desires that I've all but forgotten about something WAY MORE IMPORTANT.
What I, as a woman, really want.
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