I'm in the hot seat today because of my newest pet, my blog. Looks like everyone in the office went agog with it. I wonder why, because to be honest, there was nothing special in it. Just pure random thoughts.
Another inquisitive friend approached and inquired what's with the header of my blog 'adventures of a lost girl looking for her pet dog'?
I was lost for words, maybe a minute or two, and could not blurt out even just a single word to answer her. Because at that time, when I made my blog I am not consciously aware why I wrote it there. I just suddenly realized that I'm still grieving for our childhood dog, named Bantay, who was lost out of the blue. My Tatay allegedly claimed that one of our neighbors killed him and made him 'pulutan'. According to Nanay, me and my brother cried hard when we learned about his sudden lost. We even refused to eat our lunch that day.
Ours is a happy home when I was still a child (and even until now, though I haven't spend much of my time in it nowadays because I am now currently based in Cebu, while my family stays in Catarman). I grew up in a very wide backyard with only a brother and a dog to play with. (My two other siblings was born when I was already in my fifth grade, so I only have them as playmates.) We seldom play with neighborhood kids because we still need to get across the busy highway along Bacoor, Cavite just to play with them.
My brother and I loved Bantay so much. We even slept together with him, cuddling him possessively. He would always went with us whenever we buy something at a nearby sari-sari store. He would sometimes carry the brown bag full of pandesal bought from the bakery. He was there when I and my brother failed on our first attempts to drive a bike. He was there also proudly barking and running along with us as we joyfully brag to other kids and skillfully showed them how to drive a bike. He would barked a neighborhood bully who would make us cry. That's why those poor kids hate dogs.
He was there when we we're still learning our first strokes on swimming. He was a master swimmer for us back then. He was there patiently accompanying us as we hesitantly cross the street during when Tatay was teaching us how to cross the busy highway safely. Until now, I am still wondering how dogs managed to avoid rushing cars in just a matter of seconds and emerged from an almost fatal accident with graceful strut. And of course, I will never forget those early morning walks to school and late afternoon walks from school with him. Sigh.
Now, I'm a grown up girl, no, I mean a full-grown woman. I realized the dog on my header is just a metaphor. I realized I'm looking for someone who would be there with me no matter what, who would be loyal and patient to me even in adversities. Someone who would accept me as who I am, someone who would protect me from harm. Though, others would say, I am too independent and has strong personality to even have and need one. I must admit, despite this strong facade I'm trying to project for everyone, inside me is still a little girl looking for her 'dog'.
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