The important thing is not to stop questioning - Albert Einstein
I went home last week for holidays. All I want was to spend New Year's Eve with family and to take a breath away from projects, away from series of alpha tests, away from meetings and away from work. I was tired, hopeless and loveless then. I never imagined myself to be a totally different person when I come back here in this city. I never imagined myself to be this happy and excited. And I never imagined myself to be this hopeful.
Before the year 2011 ended, I found myself wrapped around someone's arms. Listening to his stories, laughing to his batman jokes, sharing secret looks while his family was around, staying up with him during wee hours to help him out with his rush job, going around the town, reminiscing childhood memories (which was not much because we barely talk before - he was a snob but he insisted that he was just shy), hanging around with his friends, sharing a drink or two with his family and simply just being with him for about hours. Those moments with him were memorable and special. Those were one of my happiest moments of my life. I even wished that it would never end and just stay - well, together.
I was scared because everything is new and unfamiliar to me. I don't know what made me decide but I agreed to commit myself with him nevertheless. It was like - 'take it or leave it moment' for me. But I had no regrets. Life is so short to spend it alone and sad. And somehow, I deserve to be happy. Though we took things fast and furious - so they say, we still have the rest of our lives to get to know each other and make up with the lost time together.
Though ours may not be your usual relationship, but for me there is something perfect and divine with the bond we are sharing right now, and we hope to share until death do us part. What matters most is what we feel, how we deal with that feeling and how we trust ourselves and God to see us through until the end. And I guess the rest will fall to its right place in His time. Everything happens on its own time. There's always a time for everything. I'll just cross my fingers, hope and pray.
Right now, we are still into our respective complicated situations. But I still hope for the best. I was even surprised I could hold on to that small speck of hope. I was never hopeful like this before. God bless you always. I love you, myluv. Mwaaah.
