Just last week, I received a text message from my cousin. It
was not just an ordinary text message. It contains bad news. Tiya Amada died.
So you may know, Tiya Amada (or Tiya Mada – the way we cousins call her) was
the eldest sister of my mother. She was the eldest among ten broods of children
of my late maternal grandparents. And my mother was their pampered youngest
one. Until now, even at their old age, my aunts and my uncles tend to pamper my
mother.
Call me strange, weird, unusual, peculiar or whatever, but I
have other concerns about Tiya Mada’s death. Tiya Mada died lonely (or so I
thought she was). She did not marry. She didn’t have a child. She died as an
old maid. She was not even able to celebrate her birthday this year, because
she died two days prior her birthday (That’s was so sad). They said, during her
younger years, she is sooo maldita and heartless. She would spank and scold her
younger siblings at a slight mistake. My mother managed to escape most of the
time, because she would just play around most of the time. J
A few of my older cousins experienced the wrath of Tiya Mada. Because during
school breaks, my aunts and uncles would send my older counsins to Caceres (a small barrio at Oslob, a town almost 3-hour drive
south of Cebu City
One of my cousins told me I was a lot like Tiya Mada.
Maldita, aggressive, strong-willed and dominant. And now I becoming also an old
maid. Huhuhu…. I don’t want to die lonely (in bed). I don’t want to die
unmarried. I don’t want to die childless. I don’t want to die an old maid. And
above all, I don’t want to die maldita and heartless. So, help me God.
I know, I know, I shouldn’t use His name in vain. But I’m
dead serious about this. I don’t want to be like Tiya Mada. I want to be….. I
want to be just me, the way You want me to be. My God, please grant my prayers.
Make myself worthy for your ‘chosen one’ you prepared for me. Make me a worthy
mother for my future children (this I strongly pray). Make me a better person
everyday. Make me a lot wiser in love, in relationship, in work, in money, in
faith and in life. Make me strong against all the battle I’m going to face in
this life knowing You’ll be there by my side always.
Heavenly Father, please do not allow us to grief too long
for Tiya Mada. She won’t like it either. She won’t be happy if she saw us
grieving. I love her, unknowingly. Not
because she’s my aunt, but because she showed to us that it’s ok to be alone,
that it’s ok to be unmarried, that it’s ok to be an old maid. She showed to us
how to be strong in life despite her lonesome. I admire her somehow on her firm
belief in God. That’s the only characteristic in her I still has to master. Make
me like her, who strongly believes in You.
And above all, help me fulfill my promise to her to bring
Nanay to Oslob soon. I’ll cross my fingers.
