Lost Friendships

Just recently, I was reconnected with two old friends. Thanks to the social networking site facebook. Facebook has now been my sounding board, lately. Funny but true :”). They were now working together abroad. Both remained together. Both decided to stay together. They had happy years together as friends. I’m happy for both of them.

But our cyber reunion was quite unusual. Because we parted ways during the time when we were not in speaking terms. Our friendship suffered a major blow then and I gave up to them. We didn’t try hard enough to talk and to settle things up. I even forgot now what were the reasons and circumstances back then that broke us apart. This experience simply proves to me that merely forgetting is not enough. It is still best to seek and grant forgiveness.

After a few exchange of messages, we promised to start anew. I guess all of us were now busy browsing each others’ photo album and wall. And what’s more, all of us were still single! (Sigh.) I am now happy that finally I am reconciled with both of my old, good friends. I missed them both. And I wish we could spend some time together again. To make up with lost time. It’s not yet too late, isn’t it? It’s been almost five years I haven’t seen both of them. All of us admitted we have been searching each other in various social networking sites.

I still have other friends I’ve lost before. And maybe some other friends I might also lost along the way as I journey through my life. But I guess, it’s not important how many friends I have. What’s matters most is to keep those friends and loveones that could accept me as who I am. Those ones that truly loves me and I truly love.

As for now, I’m trying hard not to lose Him. I’m trying hard not to be His lost friend no more.

Always Undecided

Girls always change their minds. It’s an excuse I always give to my male friends whenever they would ask me to make a decision. Tatay and my brothers hate it when I reasoned to them that way. Even my married female friends do that to their husbands. It is a perennial habit for girls, for women, for female gender and for the whole feminine world. (At least, that’s what I know from all those female species I know. Though I don’t know if they were enough population to be considered as world).

This awful habit is especially unacceptable when you’re trying to make an impression to someone. And it is most especially unthinkable when you’re making a decision about your future. Like about life or death, about your happiness or misery and about success or downfall.

People say women were gifted with intuition. Merriam-Webster defined it as the power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference. Or simply put – quick insight. No scientific basis or rational reasons. Just plain gut feeling.  I’m a heart-over-head type of person. I’m a left-thumb type of person. My emotions prevail over what my reasons say. But my emotions vary from time to time. So that’s make sense. I always ended up changing my mind.

I called home and Nanay just simply told me: Think what makes you happy. Whatever makes me happy is what matters most. Think what I want, not what others want.

Now, decide.

Your Silence Kills Me

I have formally met this man a year and a half ago. I have known him for some time though from afar, but I never had a chance to personally talk to him. He was unreachable then until that formal introduction. We were introduced by his boss whom I was barely acquainted to. Since then, his boss (and all other persons who knew both of us) has been playing matchmaker. And every time I met those people or got a call from them, we would chat and stop for a while and they would tease me about him. I am happy because through this man, I get to have a chance to know these wonderful people, to share a good laugh with them and to cherish an enjoyable conversation with them. I wouldn’t have a chance to rub elbows with these great people if not because of this man. I wish them to be my friends for life. I have many friends, but I only have few friends for life. Hope you got the difference. :’)


Ironic as it may be, this man seems to be an elusive man. Hard to pin down. Mysterious. I can’t get closer to him. I can’t get into him. He is still unreachable. He manages to build a wall around him, which makes it harder to know him. I was forbidden to call. I was forbidden to do missed calls. I was even forbidden to post status updates about him because he was ashamed to people who might know it was about him. (When he sent me that message I made a firm promise to be someone that my man would be proud of! What are my strategies how to achieve it? Well, that’s another blog to read.) What’s left is sending text messages to him, but even that I seldom received replies. Whenever he managed to reply, it was sheer happiness to me. Exaggerated? Nope. But to be honest, his replies makes me happy. That’s it. I hate it when someone is telling me what to do and what not to do. I just don’t understand why I obeyed his rules nevertheless.

He is interesting, I must admit that. He is the complete opposite of me. People around him have only good things to say about him, while people around me have all the bad things to say about me. He is a saint-like person, I’m a perpetual sinner. He is a goody-good stuff; I’m the rotten-one. He lives uprightly; I’m living a not-so-decent life (so they say). People say he is a responsible man, while I can’t even make myself accountable on my own disrespectful acts. Damn. Just realized that I’m not even worthy to be his friend.

A friend told me to always look on the brighter side. Well in this case, there are a lot of good things happened (is happening and will be happening) since I met this man. First, I have gained more acquaintances and more friends through him. One of them is now my confidant. We got to talk not only about him, but also about life, about family, about my relationship with Him, about work, about friendship and about anything under the sun.

Second, during one of our rare chats, I have learned about his passionate love to his mother which made me remember my own mother. I always love my mother. She knew how much I love her. Nanay and I (and even the whole family) has been very vocal about our love for each other. We were never ashamed to say and to declare to the whole world how much we love each other. I have even dedicated a blog about her. (Just check my archive.) But my point here is this: men who love their mothers are good men. Hope he’s no mama’s boy.


And I guess unknowingly he taught me what patience and chastity are all about. Enough said.